Moving on from a relationship can indeed be a very difficult phase to go through emotionally. You are in pain over loosing someone you still love. You take time to invest yourself in the relationship, build memories, make promises, see dreams together and then one day everything seems gone and your world is shattered.

Moving on does not necessarily mean that we cease to think of them or cease to love them. It only means that we have been able to come to terms with the end of that relationship.

If your partner is not willing to get back with you at all at any cost, then unfortunately there is only so much that you can do and you will have to respect their decision and move on. It feels like it is the end of the world. But it’s not if you decide so for yourself.

Firstly, know that the fact you need to overcome it means that the relationship meant a lot to you and the end of it, the breakup, has left you with a deep wound that hurts. This means that it will hurt, it is supposed to, or else you wouldn’t have had the need to overcome it.

So do not look for a magical quick fix. Even if you do manage to find one, it will only be superficial and temporary. If you truly want to recover, give yourself the time and the chance to heal.

Accept the end of the relationship and the pain that you are feeling. Many of us find it hard to let ourselves feel, experience and be with the pain and want to escape and run away from it because it hurts more than we can take. Trust me, the pain of a heart break is like a ghost that will always manage to find its way to haunt you till you face it.

You will find yourself wondering and seeking answers of “why”, trying to make sense of what went wrong in the relationship. Your mind will struggle and spend a lot of time trying to understand all of this. This is only a natural phase of moving on. You might find yourself angry at this point of time. Know that it is completely okay to feel so. You are hurting and in pain that is manifesting into anger.

No Contact Rule. No stalking. No rebounds. Get rid of all materialistic memories for good. This is non-negotiable and does not require explanations. I know it’s not easy but no one said this was going to be easy.

Figure out what works out for you. Some prefer to take some alone time to process things. Some like to be around with loved ones and share their pain. Some take to hobbies, travel/solo trip/trip with friends, take to music or creative art, maintaining a daily journal of thoughts and feelings, meditation, yoga, go shopping. Anything that helps you manage your emotions and function in a sane manner. If you find none of these working for you over a long period of time, consider going for therapy.

Coming to terms with the relationship. Seek closure, not necessarily coming from your ex, but with self. Write an unsent letter to your ex, you do not have to post it to him/her, just write all that you would like to say to your ex.

Finally, bring back the focus on yourself. Remind yourself of your strengths, your abilities, your goals for your future. Invest in yourself as much as you would have liked to invest in the relationship.

Remember, a breakup sure hurts as hell but it is not the end of the world if you choose for it to be.

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